I wanted to share this with anyone out there who identifies himself as a “Nice Guy”. There are many frustrations associated with that tag and sometimes it can be discouraging, but don’t give up! It’s worth it in the end. I read somewhere that “Bad Guys” are just “Nice Guys” that gave up. Seems very true, but don’t let it be you. Here is some advice for you that I think will help out a lot.
#1) You don’t have to agree with everything a woman says to win her affection. No woman wants a “yes” man. That’s why she won’t date you. You’re being a pushover. STAND on your own two feet and MAN UP! It’s okay to have a differing opinion. It helps you grow.
#2) Be balanced. Be nice, but not TOO nice. Don’t give her your life savings and you’ve only known her for two weeks and she barely speaks to you.
#3) Tell a woman you’re interested in her early on. In fact, right at the beginning if you’re sure of it. Know what you want and go after it. Specific goals are easier to obtain.
#4) Be honest with yourself. Are you being nice just to get something in return? Don’t be nice to a woman just so she’ll date you. That’s dishonest and misleading. It makes you look like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. At least the “jerks” are straight up about their intentions. Make sure your motives are pure. Evaluate yourself.
#5) You don’t have to get something in return just because you did something nice for someone. If you change a woman’s tire she doesn’t owe you her hand in marriage. Just change the tire and keep it moving. Be nice because it’s the right thing to do not to gain the advantage.
#6) There are nice girls out there too that get overlooked. Be sure that you are not mistreating a woman that is your friend. You reap what you sow.
#7) Sometimes you really should ONLY be friends. There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, even if they are attractive. We can learn a lot from having friends of the opposite gender, which will make us better and more understanding spouses in marriage.
#8) Don’t get mad when a woman calls you to tell you all of her problems. She thought you were her friend and that’s what friends have to do sometimes. If that is not the position you want to play, then tell her you no longer want to have that friendship. Don’t stick around in hopes that she will one day fall madly in love with you because you’re just SOOO understanding. It’s a waste of her time and yours. Just be real.
Ladies, if you are reading this, you have no excuse to take advantage of people either. If you don’t like a guy, don’t make him think you do. Also, stop putting up with less than decent men and blaming it on the decent ones. That has gotten very old. You deserve God’s best. Understand your worth and choose accordingly.
It’s time for both MEN and WOMEN to mature where dating is concerned.
As my pastor said today “I’m the righteousness of God and everything I need will be attracted to me”. I believe that this applies to health, finances, and relationships as well. As long as you know who you are in Christ, everything that you need will be added unto you. Matt. 6:33.
Bottom line: Be honest. Be real. Don’t be afraid to tell a woman NO. (Or anyone else for that matter). Make your intentions and interest known up front. Don’t be misleading. Be a genuine friend and don’t mistreat others. Appreciate the value of having friends of the opposite sex and help each other find your mates. It’s not always about YOU. Married people understand that you have to live for someone else and not just live to fulfill your own needs. That is just lust, which is just plain selfishness. Overall, don't be discouraged or ashamed of being a genuinely nice person. Your spouse is out there and they are closer than you think. God bless!
Here is some encouragement for nice guys from a woman's perspective. Enjoy!