Be a Gentleman. Not a Pushover.

Jesus was a nice guy not a pushover. Men of God should be nice, but not too nice so as to let people take advantage of you.  You should be balanced and consistent.  Jesus did not allow people to interfere with his Father's business.  The scripture tells us in Matthew "12 And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves, 13 And said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves." Matt 21:12-13 Jesus was not about to allow the house of prayer to be a den of thieves.  He cast them out and overthrew the tables.  Although Jesus was nice he was not a pushover.  These are the characteristics that we should observe as men of God.  We should not allow wrongdoing to take place in our midst. 

How are we allowing ourselves to be pushovers in our personal lives?  Do you have trouble saying no? Especially to women?  Are you doing someones dirty work for them all of the time?  Are you allowing what someone else says or thinks to alter your beliefs or actions?  If so, you may be allowing yourself to be a pushover.  Let's take another look at how Jesus stayed focused on his Father's business this time in dealing with his family when they were looking for him.  The scripture says When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."  "Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" Jesus did not even let his family get between his purpose being fulfilled.  Sometimes we have to learn to say no even to the ones we love.  We should always obey our heavenly Father first and foremost.

So now let me give some examples of being a gentleman.  Being a gentleman is seeking opportunities to relieve and assist not just women but people in general with tasks or duties that may be burdensome or overwhelming for a time or season.  For instance, the most basic form of being a gentleman may be simply holding doors, pulling out chairs, carrying heavy objects etc...  More advanced forms could be if the Lord assigns a man to assist a family or single mother with raising a son by being an example to him and providing verbal support or rearing.  I have heard testimony of men being sent to assist a woman of God to raise her child without any expectancy of anything from her just the sole purpose of assisting her with that child.  A man that does this is not a pushover, but rather a yielded vessel being used by God to be a blessing or in other words to prevent misfortune in the lives of others.

The Holy Spirit is a gentleman.  He will not come in unless you let him in.  He is not forceful or pushy, but rather allows you to have freewill to choose him.  Just allow him to guide and direct you on who you should be helping and how you should be going about ministering that help.  When you help people that the Lord does not direct you to help you open yourself up for bitterness when that individual does not reciprocate your generosity.  You should do things without strings attached anyway.  Always operate in charity and never operate in selfishness.  Continue to walk in the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-26).  Do not allow feelings of hurt to harbor in your spirit if you feel that you have been taken advantage of.  This only blocks your future blessings.  Always forgive and continue to be more like Christ each day. By reading about him you learn more about the type of man that he was and how to live a more balanced life.

Being a pushover is allowing someone to abuse you or take your kindness for weakness.  Men, some women are only after a free ride and will let you do things for them if you continue to offer.  Women, some men will take advantage of you as well if you allow them to.  Do not offer more of yourself than a person has earned.  For instance, if you are not married, then no one has earned your physical affection.  Do not give that away.  The same goes with money.  Do not throw away hard earned money on a person that only wants to use it up.  I look at money as a seed and try to only sew it into good ground.  Also men, a woman does not want a man that is a pushover.  She needs someone that can stand up to anything that she puts out and be able to handle her.  I'm not giving women an excuse to be bossy and controlling, but as a man you have to know how to institute correction in Love.  Remember, you are the head of the household and you are responsible for the decisions of the family.

One more thing guys.  If a woman does something or says something that does not line up with the word of God do not be afraid to tell her so in Love.  Do not fear losing her because if you have to compromise to keep something you will lose it anyway (Thanks Pastor).  This is how sin entered the garden of Eden.  Adam knew better and Eve did not.  When Eve listened to the serpent Adam allowed it instead of correcting her and casting the serpent out.  Do not let sin triumph again by being a  pushover.  You have to say what's right even if it means losing some friends or a love interest.  God is a God of restoration and he can restore anything that you lost better than it was before. Ultimately, you want to please God and not man.  To quote Bill Cosby "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."  Stop being a "yes man" and a people pleaser and stand up for what's right.  You will be so much more happy with yourself in the end.