Single Women in the Church: The Issue of Submission

I was talking to some of my older brothers in Christ at church the other day and I received some great insight on marriage and submission.  One man was telling me how powerful and strong his marriage is because of the way his wife is submitted to him.  You see, I asked the question of "Why are there so many single women in the body of Christ"?  Now I know there may be a number of reasons for this such as, selfishness, not being ready spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically, having trust issues etc...but submission is the key. Of course, the husband has to submit to the wife as well, and this particular gentleman is very submitted to his wife.  More importantly, they are both submitted to God and are leaders in their respective ministry areas.  This conversation however, opened my eyes to the power that a woman holds when she submits to her HUSBAND (not boyfriend or someone she is dating).  When she operates in the spirit of meekness, she operates in unlimited power.

The Bible tells us the importance of submission in Ephesians 5.  Let's take a look. It says "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; " (Ephesians 5:22-25).  So as the word says, we should submit to each other as the Lord desires us to do so.  That goes for the man and the woman.  A lot of men take that scripture out of context to manipulate women, but we must submit one to another in Love as Christ loved the church.

When a woman chooses to submit, she chooses to WIN!  There is NO man that will turn down a woman that is ready to submit.  Many argue that this is why some black men date white women.  While I am not sure if those motives are true, it's definitely not far-fetched to think that may be a part of it.  Personally, I look at the person and what is on the inside, not the skin color, but that's another discussion.  Anyway, submission brings about peace in the household.  When two people are not constantly arguing about who's right or wrong there is the presence of calmness and agreement.  There is no longer such a strong spirit of anger, strife, and anguish.  Forgiveness and Love abounds in a peaceful relationship.  The two of you can grow together a lot easier and overcome challenges with greater success.

The man that I spoke to at church has great testimony of how much success he and his wife share.  They are debt free in their personal lives and their ministry areas at church continually grow with people that are eager to serve alongside them as well as give into their respective ministry areas time, finances, resources etc...They are so BLESSED.  I believe that this is because they have tapped into the power of submission.  They are people of prayer and always acknowledge how God is the forefront of their lives.  Submission to God FIRST is the key to a successful marriage.  I even watch their relationship at church and have heard the husband tell his wife he LOVES her and show it as well.  There is so much RESPECT between the two of them.  Respect or the lack thereof is another reason that so many women in the church are single.  So many times they just do not respect men anymore.  This has to change if these women ever want to be married.  Doing what you want to do and being disrespectful is not the way to get married.

Sometimes you have to submit even when you think the man may be wrong.  Don't argue with him, let God correct him.  When a person finds out they were wrong they become apologetic and you now have the power.  That is what submission can do for you.  Men must make sure to do their part in the role of submission as well.  The scripture says "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: " (Ephesians 5:28-29).  So men must Love and cherish their wives as themselves and their own flesh.  He should treat her how he would want to be treated, because women reciprocate what they are given.

An important factor to note is that the man that I spoke to at church is an excellent provider.  He has a great job, is a man of prayer, treats his wife with respect, does what she requests of him, and is a leader at church.  When a man does his part, then it is easier for a woman to submit to him.  So ladies, make sure the man is being obedient to God and you can feel at peace when you follow him.  Also, submitting in the form of cooking, cleaning, not yelling back and forth, etc...will always make a man submit to you a lot easier.  Everyone knows the saying "the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach".  This IS and always will remain true.  So ladies, it doesn't hurt to throw down in the kitchen.  I have heard testimony of men that did not initially like their future wives until they mastered the kitchen.  So please believe you me, that a man LOVES a woman that can cook.

So let's prayerfully consider the power of submission.  It is pleasing to God that both men and women submit to each other in the union of marriage.  We can do this!


Below is a video from Shanel Cooper-Sykes about the power of submission from a woman's perspective.  Take a listen.